What your sleeping position tells about you?

What do sleeping positions tell about couples’depth psychology?

Which one is your sleeping position?

The woman falls asleep in her boyfriend’s arms. →Their relationship is still fresh and exciting. Gradually, this state of condition will probably come to an end.
(2)The couple faces each other. →They wish to communicate with each other more
(3)The woman hugs the man. →This kind of sleeping position can be found among men who appear to be macho when they go out.
(4)The couple sleeps in a prone position together. →Is everything alright? It is highly likely that you may have some problems.
(5)The woman takes up more of the bed. →The man is hen-pecked.
(7)The man hugs the woman. →It is the ideal sleeping position for women and it shows they are in a stable relationship.
(8)The couple sleeps back to back. →The distance between two hearts is proper and the relationship is rather stable.

Is Your Company Turning You Into a Corporate Zombie?

Your company wants to turn you into a zombie. And you might be letting it happen.

Most employees are hired because they have personal vitality, which is a general sense of aliveness, creative thinking, communication style, presence, awareness, intellectual curiosity, and an untamed sense of humor. Then the subtle cultural cues set in as corporate zombie culture attempts to recruit another member.

It becomes clear that those who make it around here focus on efficiency and bottom-line results. They work long hours. They send email at 2 a.m. They answer their work cell phone at any time of the day or night, unless they're on a plane. They get a gold star for working late, skipping the gym, and taking that conference call at 5 a.m. to accommodate people in different time zones.

As they work, they mostly respond rather than get ahead of situations. Their creativity level drops, and they spend less time reflecting. They laugh less. They look more and more like other people in the office. They begin to parrot what the top leaders say, but with less enthusiasm than the leaders. After all, a key to moving up is to not outshine the boss. That sparkle in their eyes dims. They become corporate zombies.

A friend of mine was recently dinged in a performance appraisal for being "too enthusiastic." Translation: be less alive, more like a zombie.

Corporate zombie cultures thrive on brain eating. Not literally, but through reprimands and random firings that instill terror and drive people to sacrifice more, be more loyal, and stand out less.

Why are we talking about this now? Because zombie cultures rise during recessions and jobless recoveries, when the fear of losing a job is at its highest.

So what do we do here?

The first step is to recognize what's happening. Companies send subtle messages, especially to their managers, that conformity and sacrifice of one's uniqueness are good. They are not.

Second, become aware of the cost. Personal vitality is one factor in what colleagues and I call That Which Cannot Be Delegated -- that intangible quality that commands respect and attention, and encourages others to listen to what you say.

That Which Cannot Be Delegated has a lot to do with the leadership. In the movie "The Social Network," Sean Parker had it. Eduardo Saverin did not, which is part of why he was taken out. Zuckerberg did not have it.

Among presidents, John Kennedy had That Which Cannot Be Delegated. So did Reagan and Clinton. Jimmy Carter didn't. Neither did the first Bush. Most people I talk with think the second Bush also lacked it.

How to develop That Which Cannot Be Delegated is the subject of another post. The key here is that if you let the zombie-ification happen to you, chances are, you're giving up That Which Cannot Be Delegated, impairing your ability to lead.

Third, say "hell no!" to zombie cultures. The most effective leaders I know got through layers of management without ever losing their personal vitality, but it was a constant struggle. Do what they did: Draw boundaries and train those around you about your priorities. If you don't answer your cell phone on the second ring, it might be because you have something more important to do. These actions actually increase your levels of personal vitality and That Which Cannot Be Delegated.

Fourth, create a culture of aliveness and innovation. Find and connect with others who have said "hell no!" to the zombie siren song, and build new tribes around them.

Again and again, zombie cultures fail because they are outmaneuvered by people that are still alive and still find joy in their work.

Have you ever seen a zombie culture or been a part of one? If so, I hope you'll share it in an email to me or in the comments below.
 

Are You A Shoulder-Shrugger Or Commitment-Keeper?

“The dog ate my homework.”

Even though this famous excuse is rarely used, what it symbolizes is all-too-familiar: an aversion to admit accountability.

What’s more, the urge to excuse one’s blunders rather than shoulder them reveals a bigger issue: a lack of character.

Let’s be honest: No wants to entertain excuses — even perfectly good ones. We value friends who are reliable, we promote employees who are consistent, we love spouses because when they wrong us, they rectify it. Not for nothing did the sign on Harry Truman’s desk proclaim, “The buck stops here!”

Of course, emergencies arise, and we all screw up from time to time. Yet it’s how you fix things that counts, that makes you who you are.

For example, did your car break down? Do what my realtor did when this happened to him while house-hunting with a client: call a cab. “The show must go on,” Morgan explained. No excuses.

How about this well-worn crutch? “I was stuck in traffic… And parking was even worse.” Anyone who’s ever sat behind a steering wheel has bumped into these predicaments. That you didn’t prepare for them indicates a preference to make others wait rather than show up early. No excuses.

Here’s my favorite refrain: “I’ve been busy.” Nope. We make time for what’s important to us. Why not just say you dropped the ball and apologize? And then make up for it. No excuses.

If you say you’ll do something, don’t make your counterpart follow-up for an ETA. If you agree to call at a certain time, don’t make the person on the other end of the line wait. If a request is ambiguous, don’t foist the monkey back; assume the burden, and propose clarifications.

If you’re nodding, you’ll be gratified to know you’re in good company. At Apple, whenever an executive reached the level of vice president, Steve Jobs would deliver a short sermon. Jobs imagined the garbage in his office wasn’t being emptied, and when he asked the janitor why, the janitor shrugged. The locks were changed, and the janitor didn’t have a key.

This is understandable coming from someone who empties trash bins for a living. As Jobs put it, “When you’re the janitor, reasons matter.” But when you’re a VP, he continued, “reasons stop mattering.”

What matters, I would add, are commitments.

This Rubicon separates the shoulder-shrugger from the commitment-keeper — or the staffer from the manager, the manager from the VP, the VP from the C suite. To the commitment-keeper, it doesn’t matter who or what’s at fault; an excuse signifies a personal failure. To the commitment-keeper, nothing is more than important than keeping your word, and thus your integrity.

Think of this the next time you find yourself in a hole. Will you dig out with an alibi or accountability? The choice is yours.

No excuses.

Signs He Is In Love With You

Signs He is in Love with You can be hard to spot in the beginning, especially if you are just starting a relationship.

New relationships can be hard to handle in the beginning, but they are also super exciting! So how can you tell if he is really into you long-term? What signs he loves you are there?

Well ladies, stay tuned because below, we’re going to explore the top 10 signs he loves you so that you can spot love out right away!   read more...

Too Much Tolerance Can Be A Bad Thing

You may not know it, but you have a tolerance meter -- an internal gauge that tells you when enough is enough. The problem for many is that their tolerance meter is set too high -- that they put up with far too much for far too long. We stay at jobs we hate because it is "comfortable enough," and because changing requires so much more energy. We'll endure critical bosses who never have nice things to say about us because we tell ourselves that they're not "that bad." We'll live paycheck to paycheck for years because we fool ourselves into thinking it's the "best we can do." 

It is easy to fall into the mental trap of mediocrity. Because it doesn't take much to get by, we grow complacent. We stop growing and seeking challenges. We don't push ourselves to succeed. We cultivate a lifestyle well below our potential, but one that is just good enough that it doesn't require much challenge or action.  read more...

5 Ways To Beat Your Shopping Addiction

Alcohol, crack and heroin are known to be highly addictive, but can something as innocuous as shopping be addictive? 

I have no doubt shopping can become addictive and destructive. I've worked with people from vastly different backgrounds who have become shopaholics -- from "sudden wealth" recipients who've come into millions, to the unemployed and destitute who cannot control their shopping addiction. Dr. Drew recently taped an episode on the Ricki Lake Show where he spoke to a young woman who was a self-diagnosed shopaholic. Her shopping addiction can provide valuable lessons for the rest of us.

First, it's important to understand what doesn't work. A shopping addiction is not a disease of intellect; it's a disease of emotion. Unfortunately, most family members, along with mental health and financial "experts," make things worse by focusing on the two areas that usually lead to even more shopping: shame and logic. What's wrong with you?! Don't you know better? How can you be so self-centered and selfish? Trying to use logic -- if you spend too much, you won't have money to make the car payment -- tends to be just as ineffective.  read more...